Ah, the sweet taste of impeachment! Full of treason, obstruction of justice, and collusion… What else would we expect from America’s Commander in Pussy-Grabbing?!
What better way to celebrate and watch it all go down than with a drink, or two, or five!!
Here’s a list of “Russian-Inspired” drinks that will help you feel festive, if nothing else, while watching it all go down on a fake news channel of your choice! Here’s a hint, they all have vodka.
The Honorary White Russian aka “The Kushner”
You too could taste like deceit, lies, with undertones of Trump’s fragrance line and hints of Penicillin.
1oz Coffee Liqueur
(Recipe and Image from Liquor.com)
The “Are You Loyal To Me” Martini
The President asks everyone this question, even Melania! Now you can look just as paranoid, questioning the vermouth while whole-heartedly trusting Russia… Vodka. I meant to say Vodka.
6 parts Vodka
1 part Dry Vermouth
Shake in a ice-filled shaker
Strain in a martini glass
Garnish with one or two olives, depending on how dirty that delicious testimony is
(Image from Liquor.com)
The Mail-Order Bride who Won’t Hold My Hand
God Save Melania. I wouldn’t touch that hand with a 10 foot pole! The sacrifices she makes for Cartier… What an American, err Slovenian Hero!
4oz White Cranberry Juice
1oz Triple Sec
Shake in an Ice-Filled Shaker and strain
Garnish with your favorite berry!
Alternatively, you could use red Cranberry juice, but let’s be real.. this administration likes nothing of color!
(Image from Purple Clover Events)
The Bad Hair Day, All- Day, Everyday
After daydrinking, you too could look just like our commander in chief! Extra points if you can score home-grown cucumbers from the Russian compound in Maryland!
1 Cucumber, cut into 3 chunks
2oz Fresh Lime Juice
10-15 mint leaves, from 4 sprigs of mint
1.5oz Simple Syrup
Muddle 1 of the cucumber chunks along with everything else except the vodka in a shaker. Really get that Cucumber mushed down into bits. Just focus on the popular vote vs electoral votes in this past election, and this should do the trick.
Add ice and your vodka to the cocktail shaker. Strain and serve.
You can garnish with Cucumber slices or snack on your leftover Cucumber chunks. Alternatively, make more of these! They’re yummy!
(Image from Pinterest, Recipe is derived from one on Food52)
The Golden Shower before the 3AM Tweet
Tastes like hooker piss and delusion! Pairs nicely with Ambien.
5oz Orange Juice
Serve Chilled or on the rocks
(Recipe and Image from Mix That Drink)
The Whistle Blower came from my Twitter
When this day finally comes, this will be all I drink. Our take on the mimosa, with pear nectar and monk fruit! Fancy!!
Put a few drops of Pear Nectar in each flute and sprinkle with Monk Fruit powder. It’s great for the skin, and will sweeten it up a bit!
Top with Champagne of your choice.
Garnish with a Sliced Pear
Revel in our American Glory!
(Image from Robust Recipes)
Although I hear Trump doesn’t drink, he may need a few of these concoctions after tomorrow’s hearing!
Lock Him Up,